Feature Article
Effects of Remarriage on Nonresident Parent-Child Relations
Erin Angst, M.A., Human Development & Family Studies Graduate, University of Missouri-Columbia
The relationship between a nonresident parent (a parent
that the child does not live with most of the time) and
a child may change when either parent remarries or moves
in with a new partner. Sometimes a nonresident parent
takes on additional responsibilities when he or she
remarries and that can affect the parent's relationships
with children from previous relationships. Sometimes
when a resident parent remarries the nonresident parent
can feel he or she has lost control and is being
replaced.
There are many possible reasons that remarriage and cohabiting can
effect parent-child relationships, and the way the
relationship is affected can vary greatly too, as the
following quotes from stepchildren illustrate:
Remarriage may result in less contact between the child and nonresident
parent:
"When I was younger, I spent a lot of time with my dad, but when he got remarried, she (stepmom) pushed me out, so they could have their own family."
"I used to see dad every other weekend until he married
Barb. Then my mom threw a fit, and wouldn't let us go
over much anymore."
On the other hand, children may have more contact with
nonresident parents following remarriage:
"I didn't even know my dad existed until I was seven and he married my stepmom. She made him get his act together. He cleaned up, stopped doing drugs, got a job, and they got custody of me, because of her."
"If my mom was on her own, we wouldn't see her, because
her living conditions were so unstable, but she would
always hook up with someone fairly quickly."
Just as a new marriage can affect a child's relationship
with a nonresident parent, a divorce or break up of the
parent and stepparent can also affect a child's
relationship with the nonresident parent:
"When mom got divorced the third time, I moved back in with her, because she was single, and broke and needed the child support payments that dad would give her if I was living with her, and she needed help with the younger kids."
As these examples illustrate, remarriage can have both
positive and negative effects on children's
relationships with nonresident parents. Support from the
remarried parent and stepparent can help children
maintain relationships with their nonresident parents.
Last Updated 05/06/2008
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