Feature Article
What Are the Early Warning Signs of Teen Dating Violence?
Stephanie McGhee, Graduate Student, Human Development & Family Studies, University of Missouri-Columbia
Researchers who study teen dating violence have
identified several early warning signs that a dating
relationship might be likely to turn violent. These
warning signs do not mean a relationship will definitely
turn violent. However, if you notice several of them in
your relationship or partner, you may need to
re-evaluate your dating relationship. These warning
signs include:
- Excessive jealousy
- Constant checking in with you or making you check in with him or her
- Attempts to isolate you from friends and family
- Insulting or putting down people you care about
- Is too serious about the relationship too quickly
- Has had a lot of bad prior relationships - and blames all of the problems on the previous partners
- Is very controlling. This may include giving you orders, telling you what to wear, and trying to make all of the decisions for you
- Blames you when he or she treats you badly by telling you all of the ways you provoked him or her
- Does not take responsibility for own actions
- Has an explosive temper (“blows up” a lot)
- Pressures you into sexual activity you are not comfortable with
- Has a history of fighting, hurting animals, or brags about mistreating other people
- Believes strongly in stereotypical gender roles for males and females
- You worry about how your partner will react to the things you say or are afraid of provoking your partner
- Owns or uses weapons
- Refuses to let you to end the relationship
What can you do if you notice these signs in your
relationship?
- Trust your intuition! If you believe there may be a problem in your relationship, you are probably right. Do not ignore the warning signs. Research has found that those who have a tendency to engage in relationship violence escalate their abuse over time. In other words, it gets worse over time, not better.
- Spend time with people you care about other than your partner. Stay in touch with your friends.
- Keep up with activities that you enjoy and that make you feel good about yourself.
- You might consider looking into what help or resources might be available in your school or area. You might also want to consider calling a domestic violence hotline or shelter for more information before you experience a crisis.
- There are things you can do to ensure your
safety at home and at school. For more information,
see:
http://missourifamilies.org/features/divorcearticles/divorcefeature26.htm
If you or someone you know is experiencing dating
violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline:
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).
Sources:
Eastside Domestic Violence Program (2006). About
Domestic Violence: For Teenagers. Retrieved March 29,
2006 from
http://www.edvp.org/AboutDV/teenager.htm
National Center for Victims of Crime. (2004). Dating
Violence. Washington, D.C.: National Center for Victims
of Crime Retrieved March 23, 2006 from
http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbName=DocumentViewer&DocumentID=37939
National Center for Victims of Crime. (2004). If You Are
a Victim of Teen Dating Violence. Washington, D.C.:
National Center for Victims of Crime. Retrieved March
23, 2006 from
http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbName=DocumentViewer&DocumentID=32370
Last Updated 05/06/2008
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