Feature Article
Relationships in Later Life
Nina Chen, Ph.D., CFLE, Human Development Specialist, Jackson County, University of Missouri Extension
As baby boomers are getting older and living longer,
relationships in later life are becoming important to
understand. As people age, they face challenges in their
life such as dealing with health problems and making
adjustments to retirement.
According to a review of the research on marriage in
later life from the National Healthy Marriage Resource
Center, several studies address great health benefits of
marriage. They find that married couples have better
health. In particular, those married couples satisfied
with their relationship enjoy better mental health and
well-being. Most married couples in later life are happy
with their marriages. Some studies suggest that the
older people are the less likely they are to argue and
the more affectionate and tolerant they are with each
other. Husbands who could negotiate marital conflict in
constructive ways seemed to be happier in their
marriages and were more satisfied with life in
retirement.
Regarding marital satisfaction and retirement, some
studies show that retirement simply reinforces the
quality of marital relationships. Retirement shows
positive effects on marital quality in already happy
marriages, but unhappy marriages were adversely affected
by retirement. Many couples adjust to the retirement
transition well and report an improvement in marital
satisfaction due to decreased work-related stress,
enhanced time for companionship, and joint endeavors. In
general, married people adjust better to retirement than
unmarried people do, especially when spouses share
interests before retirement.
Poor pre-retirement marital quality is associated
with problems in marriage during retirement. Retired men
seem to become more dependent on their wives which may
cause problems and stress in marriage due to changes in
roles, identities, and responsibilities. When men retire
before their wives, their marital quality declines. One
study found decreases in marital happiness when husbands
had been retired between four and eight years. On the
contrary, couples are much more satisfied in their
relationship when wives are retired and husbands are
working. Conflict also arose when a spouse’s retirement
expectations were not met.
Researchers have found that happily married older
couples highly value their relationships and experience
increasing closeness as the years go by. When retirement
time arrives, there are many things to be worked out.
Enjoying each other in retirement doesn’t happen over
night. It takes time and effort to make adjustments.
Each person needs some time for privacy and personal
interests as well as “couple time together.” Minor
irritations need to be resolved. Having
open-communication, flexibility, and humor can help
minimize conflict. Retirement can be a time for great
personal contributions and a sense of freedom and
happiness.
Reference:
Lambert, N. M. Marriage in later life: A review of the
research. National Healthy Marriage Resource Center,
Brigham Young University.
Last Updated 05/06/2008
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