Features
Summer Visitation: Make the Transition Smooth
School will soon be out and divorced/separated parents must make plans for their children’s summer visitation.
While some of this is determined by the parenting plan,
every decree is different according to Kris Jenkins,
University of Missouri Extension HES Specialist. Most
will outline the visitation length, child support
details and transportation responsibilities. Some
parenting plans are not this specific and most can be
adjusted by mutual agreement if it benefits your
children.
Flexibility is important. In order to decide whether
children spend one long period or several short ones
with the non-custodial parent, keep in mind the ages of
the children, the length of time they can be gone and
the other parent's ability to care for them. Many
children spend a month or six weeks, while others spend
longer--especially if the parent lives far away.
Sometimes, especially as your children age, the plan
doesn’t work, or is very difficult to accommodate--so be
prepared to renegotiate.
Remember these key points:
- Children have a right to spend time with both parents.
- Children should be encouraged to enjoy the time they spend with the non-custodial parent.
- Children have a right to love both parents.
“All family members have fears and concerns about the visitation,” notes Jenkins. Custodial parents will worry about their children’s health and safety and their adjustment to a different environment.
Children worry about how they will spend their time,
their separation from friends, their acceptance by step
or half siblings and their relationship with their other
parent. Children often do not verbalize their worries or
are not old enough to express them, but these worries
still exist.
Non-custodial parents have concerns about how to spend
time with their children, how to manage chores,
responsibilities and work, and if their children will
like/love them. They also worry about how the children
will blend with new family members.
Summer vacation plans should be made well in advance.
Issues of duration, travel, rules, curfews, diet,
medicines, etc., should be handled by the parents either
by phone, in person and, if necessary, in writing.
Actual planned activities should be discussed with the
children. These include day or sports camps, swimming
lessons, vacation destinations and other events.
Children who help make plans have something to look
forward to and feel important and valued.
Both parents should prepare children for the summer. The
custodial parent can positively influence their
children’s attitudes about the visit and the
non-custodial parent can smooth the way through regular
contact during the school year.
Adults should work together to make the summer
transition easy for their children.
Last Updated 05/06/2008
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