Feature Article
Money talks:
The value of understanding
Kim Allen, Ph.D., M.F.T., state specialist, director, Center on Adolescent Sexuality, Pregnancy and Parenting (CASPP), Human Development & Family Studies, University of Missouri Extension; & Christina Crawford, M.A., former extension associate, Human Development & Family Studies, University of Missouri Extension
Arguments about money are rarely only about money —
they’re also about our values. How your partner wants to
spend money may be different than how you want to spend
money. You each have a different value, hence the
disagreement. Understanding your partner’s values can
help nurture your relationship and can help reduce the
amount of conflict.
How much do you know about your partner’s money
values? How much do you know about your own values? Read
the statements below, thinking about how your partner
might answer. Then ask you partner about their values
and experiences. The more we know about each other, the
easier it is to communicate and connect.
Read each of the statements below, decide whether you agree or disagree with the statement and circle the appropriate response. When you are done, compare your answers with your partner. (1 = strongly agree, 3 = neutral, 5 = strongly disagree).
1. Money was a source of stress in my family growing
up.
2. My family had a great influence on how I feel
about money today.
3. I spend money wisely.
4. My partner spends money wisely.
5. My partner and I have frequent conflicts over
money issues.
6. Money is a source of stress in my current
household.
7. I can easily talk with my partner about money
issues.
8. I am happy with how my partner and I spend money.
9. It is important to me that I set goals for my
family’s future.
10. Bills should always be paid on time.
11. It is important to save for the future, even if
it means having a little less today.
12. It is important to live in the moment and not
worry about what we will have later.
13. It is important to buy name-brand items.
14. I like having control of where our money goes.
15. Before making large purchases, it is important to discuss the purchase with my partner.
References:
Fletcher, C.N., & Sternweis, L. (2004). Money mechanics: Communication. Iowa State University Extension.
Hudson, N.W. Getting to know you, your co-spender, and money. Ohio State University Extension.
Hudson, N.W. (2004). Marriage matters: Money talks, Vol. 3, Issue 1. Ohio State University Extension.
Last Updated 05/12/2009
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