Feature Articles
Fathers today — Balancing work and family
Starla Ivey, PhD, Assistant Teaching Professor, University of Missouri
As a father, active involvement in your family contributes
greatly to
its strength and stability, as well as to your children’s achievement
and behavior. But juggling the demands of maintaining a busy job and
spending quality time with family can be a challenge.
Recent research has looked at the expanded roles of fathers in the home
and shows a new kind of father emerging — a more involved one whose
responsibilities reach farther than his career.
Research suggests fathers are spending more time with their children
than they have in the past and that the increased involvement is more
interactive (playtime and homework) than custodial (cleaning
and feeding).
Many fathers say they rank spending time with their kids above money,
personal status or power. Other dads say they would take a pay cut if
it meant having more time to spend with their children. But some fathers
worry that prioritizing family over work could have a negative effect
on their careers or hurt their chances for advancement.
Employers are beginning to address fathers’ needs. Flexible work schedules
and compressed work weeks allow fathers to meet work demands while maintaining
quality family time. Some companies even offer paternity leave, which
gives fathers time to bond with newborn children.
If paternity leave is unavailable or your children are older, there
are still things you can do to stay connected with your family. Remember,
it is quality of time rather than quantity of time
that makes a difference.
- Limit work on weekends, vacations and holidays.
Avoid answering your phone or checking your email while at home to have more time with your children. Tell co-workers you will not be available during that time, but you will get back to them as soon as you return to work. - If you travel often, keep your children informed and involved.
When you have to go away, leave notes, recorded messages or videos of yourself reading a favorite bedtime story for your child. Talk to your children over the phone while you’re away and you may even have the option for video chats over the phone or computer. Discuss the trip with your children when you return, showing pictures and telling stories to help them feel included. - Consider asking for a more flexible working arrangement.
It never hurts to ask. Try working longer days in order to have one day off per week, working through lunch in order to leave earlier or doing computer work from home. If you create a more flexible schedule, be careful to not let work spill over into all of your family time. Be sure to take time for yourself each day, too. - Participate in school or extracurricular activities.
If your child’s school allows it, eat lunch with your child during your lunch hour. Arrange your schedule so that you can attend your child’s special events (like an awards ceremony). If your employer encourages volunteerism, spend time volunteering at your child’s school. - Promote a family-friendly workplace.
If you are an employer, work with employees to arrange flexible work arrangements, time off for fathers and help with child care arrangements. If you are an employee, hang your child’s art in your work area, bring your child to work when allowed, and work with others to arrange flexible work arrangements. - Create “family prime time.”
At the beginning of every month, schedule family time and put it on the calendar. Get input from all family members about fun activities and vacation ideas. Spend whatever time you have together, even if it is just a few minutes, to read a story or talk about your day.
For fun family activities that also help to teach important values
and build family strengths, download “Having
Fun with your Family 365 Days a Year, Family Survival Activities” from
the MU Extension Building Strong Families program.
Also, check out these MU Extension publications: “Promoting
Family Strengths” for more information about developing a
strong, resilient family or
“Family
Councils: The Key Is Communication” to learn about how to have a
family council.
References:
Amato, Paul & Rivera, Fenando. (1999). Paternal involvement and children’s
behavior problems. Journal of Marriage and Family, 61, 375-384.
BabyCenter. (n.d.). Paternity leave: What are the options for dads? Retrieved January 31, 2005 from the Baby Center website at http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/8258.html.
National Fatherhood Initiative. (2004). 12 ways to balance work and family. [Brochure]. Gaitherburg, MD.
Shepell, W. (2004). A family-friendly balance for working fathers. Retrieved January 25, 2005, from the Warren Shepell Family Matters website at http://www.shepellfgiservices.com/balancingact/balancing-200406.asp.
Voices 4 Children. (2000). Fathers Today. Retrieved January 25, 2005, Child and Family Canada.
Working Mothers. (2004, October). 100 best companies 2004: The inside story from A to Z. Working Mothers, 101-170.
Yeung, W. J., Sandburg, J.F, Davis-Kean, P.S.& Hofferth, S.L. (2001). Children’s time with fathers in intact families. Journal of Marriage and Family, 63,136-154.
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Last Updated 06/14/2016
