June 2004

Dear Art and Cynthia,
My husband is in the National Guard and has been fulfilling his obligation to his country and I support his convictions. I have been shopping and got a little carried away with the credit cards. It made me feel better for a couple of days and then the credit card statements came and only then did I realize how much I’d spent. How do those title loan places work? Would it be okay to get a cash advance for my paycheck?

Feeling Financial Pain

Thanks for checking before taking out one of these loans! It seems like one of these businesses have been cropping up on nearly every corner in rural Missouri. The Missouri Division of Finance conducted a survey of payday lenders and reported that in 2002 alone there were 912 more licenses issued to payday lenders. This statistic doesn’t include rent-to-own, title loans, or tax refund anticipation loan outlets. You’re not the only one thinking about cash advance or payday loans. More than 2 million loans are made each year in Missouri with $200 being the most frequent loan amount.

The average annual percentage interest rate (APR) is 413%! At more than a percent a day for interest, a title loan would be one of the most expensive options for credit. While most credit card interest rates are double digit, they aren’t nearly this high.
I would also caution you about considering a title loan. This loan puts your car at risk, and your car is essential to get back and forth to work.

First of all, if you’re in a financial hole, quit digging. Stop using your credit cards (and any other sources of credit) while you work to catch up on your credit card debt. Is there anything from your shop-a-thon that can be returned and your card credited?

If you can’t pay the credit card in full, at least start to chip away at the debt by paying something each month. Don’t be satisfied at paying the minimum monthly payment-because at that rate you’ll still be paying long after the items have worn out and been discarded.

Learn from your experience. The next time you feel like recreational/consolation shopping, take the dog for a walk until the feeling passes.

Cynthia

Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief Act—
If you’re a family with a reserve service member called to active duty, you’re protected by law that can save you some legal problems and possibly some money as well.
Under the provisions of the Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief Act of 1940, you may qualify for any or all of the following:

• Reduced interest rate on mortgage payments.
• Reduced interest rate on credit card debt.
• Protection from eviction if your rent is $1200.00 a month or less.
• Delay of all civil court actions such as bankruptcy, foreclosure or divorce proceedings.

One of the most significant provisions under the act limits the amount of interest that may be collected on debts of persons in military service to 6% per year during the period of military service. This provision applies to all debts incurred prior to the commencement of active duty and includes interest on credit
card debt, mortgages, car loans and other debts.

Service members must notify lenders of their intent to invoke the 6% cap in writing, along with proof of mobilization/activation to active duty.

My husband has been overseas 6 months now and I am proud of him. My husband is a wonderful provider, however he can’t provide what I need most right now, a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to about the children and the daily stresses. I am surprised at how angry I feel-and impatient too. I’m angry with how often I have to mow the yard, angry that due to the gas prices I can’t go anywhere, even angry at the rising cost of milk! Our children have noticed that I am not as calm and easygoing as I used to be. I snap at the children over things that didn’t used to bother me. I want to be the fun, calm, and easygoing person that I used to be.

Miserable in Missouri

Whew! What a full plate! Loneliness is a significant experience that becomes more and more of an issue over time. In the current deployment, we see family members more dispersed and it may be that others who have a spouse called up are not nearby.

People under stress are much more likely to make poor decisions. While you won’t be able to eliminate some stressors, work to minimize those you can.

Time for you is very important. Each of us differs in the amount of self-time that is required. Try to set up quiet time for yourself at a time that works in your schedule-early in the morning, before bedtime, at lunch.

What kind of activities do you enjoy? Swimming? Hiking? Some activities might be something you can do with your children. Regular exercise that actually increases the heart rate can significantly help reduce stress. While you may feel exhausted from the physical demands of your day, most of those demands typically do not raise the heart rate. Some research has suggested that a great goal is taking 10,000 steps a day.

If you work outside the home, there may be female coworkers who have similar interests and you can plan activities together. If you have access to the Internet, you might consider utilizing it in cultivating a hobby. Also, writing can help reduce stress. Think about using e-mail to send to close friends in whom you can confide.

You didn’t mention the ages of your children. Obviously, that has a major impact. Young children whose needs are responded to very quickly are less likely to cry and make additional demands. If your children are older, they might be able to help with yard work. Parents and children working on a common task together strengthen families. Through chores, children contribute to their family’s well being. It also fosters bonding between parent and child.

Are there particular events or times that trigger the stress? If before or after work is especially stressful, preparing in advance may help to reduce the demands. If meal preparation is stressful, consider preparing larger amounts than needed so that the surplus can be stored for another meal to reduce preparation time.

Watching or hearing the news could add stress. News today is frequently shown in real time and does not provide the opportunity for detail. I would encourage regular contact with your unit’s family support partner. Other families having access to e-mail could bridge the geographic support distance.

Art

A few years ago, Dr. Paul Sundet with the Univ. of MO taught me to respond to an angry person as a scared person. When I feel angry I ask myself, “Cynthia, what are you scared about?” And that helps me key in on the root of my feelings.

You might ask yourself the same question.

Cynthia