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When is a good time for my significant other to introduce me to
his/her children? How can we prepare the children for this?
There is no specific time that is right for everyone. Experts
usually recommend waiting until the relationship is serious and
committed (in that the significant other is expected to be a regular
and stable part of your life). Some tips based on research and
therapists’ clinical experience with stepfamilies are:
- Give the children opportunities
to know the significant other and develop a friendship before
announcing an engagement or a decision to live together.
- The new partner should take time getting to know the children and
form a friendship before acting in more of a parental role.
- It may be easier for children if the couple does not show a lot of
physical affection in front of them.
- Try to have the initial meetings occur outside of the home and
involve doing a fun, casual activity (such as going to a sporting
event, museum, playground, etc).
- Be aware that it can take a long time for the children to accept
the new person.
For more information, see:
http://ceinfo.unh.edu/Family/Documents/s_dating.pdf
http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/pdffiles/FY/FY03900.pdf
Kim Leon, Ph.D., Former Assistant Professor and State Specialist, Human
Development & Family Studies, Human Environmental Sciences Extension,
University of Missouri-Columbia
Alison Levitch,
Human Development & Family Studies Graduate Student, Human Environmental
Sciences Extension, University of Missouri-Columbia
Last updated:09/14/2007 |